Christmas time is a time for fuzziness

The one thing that decides what my aunt and my mom are going to buy me for Christmas is whether or not the item is fuzzy.

It has been this way for years now, since I can even remember. Now, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the softness of a nice pair of fleece pajamas, however they fail to realize I have 6 pairs of fleece pajamas already.

This Christmas, they asked me what I wanted. I told them that I just wanted money, because school supplies....and school in general, is expensive.

My family decided to go against my requests and get me stuff anyway- stuff I already have, stuff I didn't need, and stuff I just didn't want. Here's the list.


Two pairs of fuzzy stay-at-home socks....different colors from last year's pair (those were blue).
These are "Stay-at-home" socks, which I have about 5 pairs of already, and the only thing that changes with them each year are the colors.


Leopard scarf to match leopard gloves I got last year for Christmas.
I received a pair of gloves and a matching scarf last year for christmas, and unfortunatly I lost the scarf, so my mother felt the need to buy a new scarf that would match the gloves. Even though I had a scarf already.


Matching gloves and scarf from Nine West.
This pair of body warmers was received from my aunt. She bought them because they were fuzzy and black. And they matched the jacket she got me (which is shown down there.)


Fleece jacket from Forever 21.
My aunt said herself that, although it's not that warm, it looks good and it's fuzzy. She's right, it does look good on me, but do I really need ANOTHER jacket? If it's not going to keep me warm when I walk to and from school, why get it?


Fleece pullover from Old Navy.
My mother got me this jacket. She got me two in fact. There is this one, and another white one with a brown collar. I returned that one....I actually have two other white jackets like this, one with a gray collar, and the other with a tan one. I actually told my mom before I even opened it that it was going to be one of those jackets, and damn, guess what, I was right.

So, those are the useless things I received from the family. I also got a few other things, which I really did like (like a gift certificate for an hour massage... :P )

I'm out.

Eggnog anyone?

I attempted making eggnog french toast this morning (the recipe was on the carton). The were disgusting

One is burnt and the other isn't even cooked.

Nothing much has happened lately. The bank is being an uber asshole. Here's the long ass story of how this has all come to be.

I locked myself out of my car and I had to call a tow truck, I had no cash on me, and I had no money on my debit card because I was still paying off the debt to that bitch. I tried getting ahold of my parents, however the line was busy ( because my dad was playing online poker.) So, I decided to use my Charter One debit card, which was the bank I originally had in MA. To my luck, it went through. Or at least I thought I was lucky.

My mom called me a few weeks later telling me that Citizen's Bank (they and Charter One decided to merge and not let anyone know about it) had been calling them non-stop, which I had no clue what it was for, or why they were calling my parents. I tried calling them, however everytime I did they were either closed for the day or I would be disconnected (don't know why, don't know how- the fuckers just like to screw with people I guess).

When I was finally able to get ahold of them, they said I was overdrawn $198, and if I didn't pay it that day (which I believe was a Thursday) an additional $33 would be added to the late fee (Yes- that's $33 every 4 business days I was late). I called my parents house hoping to ask them if they could pay it that day so I could avoid the $33, however they weren't home, so I was shit out of luck.

That night my parents returned the call, and my mom said she would try to take off the late charges and straighten things out.

The next day, she returned my call and to my surprise, she was able to have them take off the late fees, and she paid the original $46 (the amount that I was supposed to pay in the first place) and she told me to call them and cancel my account about a week later, which I did. However, I never got a letter from them saying that I had it closed.

Now, as stupid as I am, I thought everything was cleared up! But I was disgustingly wrong. My parents then continued gettinng letters from Citizen's Bank.

I then had the arduous task of getting ahold of them.

Now let me say this. Citizen's is only open 9-4 on the weekdays. The number they gave me to call was open the same hours, was always busy (which is understandable since they like fucking people a lot), or they enjoyed getting the pleasure of hanging up on me. I had class during those times, and if I wasn't in class I was at work, so when the hell did I have time to call them?!

My parents finally got a letter from them saying my account was sent to the DDA (a claims department or something) Now, I still had no clue why they were calling my parents house since they had my address in Pitty.

So, I come to find out that the transaction my mom went through, seemed to never had happened, or at least according to them. Why? Because they lost the paper work, or they just forgot to mark it in the computers-not sure what happened, but they think I still owe them $198!

I went to the branch when I got home, they could do shit for me, saying that things like this aren't handled on the branch level. Which was surprising to me because when I called the DDA they had said I'd have to go through the branch to strighten this out. Don't you just love running around in circles? Boy, I know I sure do.

They gave me my account number, which I never got in the first place, and gave me a number to call. I called them, and I talked to this one woman, Jen. I explained the situation to her, and she said it would take some investigation, and that she'll call me in a few days.

This morning I received her call. *Whew* I stupidly thought, this is all striaghtened out now. Now I don't have to worry about getting bad credit on my account.

What did she say to me? Well, that I still owed the bank 198 fucking dollars! Yeah! Basically, she did shit, and even though everything was settled, I still owe the bank money! Then she said the only way to straighten this out is give her proof that this transaction did in fact go through. So guess what my mom has to do, get a letter from Visa saying she used her card to pay for the debt, fax it over to the DDA, then maybe, just maybe, they will believe me and it will be settled.

Which I doubt, because more than likely they'll lose the fax, or the loch ness monster will have eaten it, and I will be screwed once again.

I'm thinking about suing the fuckers. And I am dead serious about that. I'm not sure it's possible to sue a bank, but damn I'm going to try. Because they have wasted MY TIME, MY MONEY, and have given me a lot of uneeded stress for something that was fixed TWO FUCKING MONTHS AGO.

Do you think I should sue them? If anyone reads this, please, go ahead and leave a note, because I would like to see what others have to say before I do such a drastic thing.

I'm going to close my bank account (technically I have two- yeah isn't that fucking fantastic- and I'll close out the good one and hopefully I'll be able to close out this one also), because I'd much prefer to have a guy fuck me, instead of the banks.

Hope is a hard one to find

Hello friends. I wanted to put this little note up for my friend Heather. Her father was in a terrible car accident a while ago, and has been in a coma since. Her mother just signed the papers to take him off life support if he doesn't get better any time soon. So please, PLEASE, pray for my friend and her father. This is Christmas time when things should be happy. She has been having an extremely difficult time with this, and the least any one could do is give her some support. Please, leave a note, some helpful advice, some wishes....anything, and I'll send them on to her. It would be greatly appreciated, by me, by her, and her family.

Thank you very much and God bless.

How do you know? Well I'll tell you!

Some helpful hints to know if you're a slut or not.

1. You can use your vagina as a purse.

2. Whenever someone walks into your bedroom, they are immediately inflicted with an STD.

6. You have a tendancy to call your "date" by the wrong name.

4. You've forgotten how many times you've taken a pregnancy test.

5. Your gynecologist has known you since you were 13.

3. Your STD's have formed hybrids of themselves.

7. Trojan has given you a gift certificate for being their, "Most trusted customer."

8. You brush your mouth more often than a dentist would.

9. You have to buy new sheets at least once a month.

10. You run into at least 5 men a day who "know" you.

11. You have 5 children....all of whom have different fathers.

12. Your brother has run across you on his favorite porn site.

13. You constantly have the slight taste of latex in your mouth.

14. You had to paint your bedroom walls white. As well as your bathrooms'.

15. You have back problems from "unknown" origins.

16. When you do somethign right at work they say, "Thattagirl!"

Shpadoinkle!

Well, I'm back at home now and very, utterly, extremely bored. So- I have returned to do the age old thing that I used to do when I was bored.

Quizzes.


Your World (Part One): What is your world made of? [girls]
brought to you by Quizilla


you're a dark angel. an angel that keeps to theirselves and never lets anybody gets close to
them. also they don't have very much emotions.


what kind of angel are you?
brought to you by Quizilla Well that ones strange- I thought I had too many emotions!


Your anime hair color is pink.


What is your anime hair color?
brought to you by Quizilla


Fun loving, childish, innocent and pure
You are a sprite of the Air: Fun loving and
childish your naive nature only enhances how
truly cute you are! You may come off as too
childish but only because your not burdened
with all the rules and regulations of
adulthood. You are carefree most of the time
spending your days playing tag or naming all
the clouds you see in the sky. You are
generally kind to everyone because you have
lots of love and happiness to share! Making
friends comes easy because they strive for the
innocence you possess but be careful, being as
nice and kind hearted as you are people will
try to manipulate your nature if they have not
already. Don't ever let anyone mold you to
their standards although I doubt anyone could.


.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla


You're a punk rock mommy! DIY is probably your
motto, because you're a punk mama at heart.
Your kids are getting your independent spirit
and guts, and learning to solve problems
themselves. You love it when they show their
independence, even when it's breaking your
heart.


What kind of a freaky mother are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Green Tea...
You are Green Tea!
Strong and very smart you prefer peace to violence
and very rarely take action if it involves
confrontation. But you make up for this with
your keen insight and understanding of the
world and people around you, you have a very
mysterious nature. Many people see you as laid
back and that may be true but you are very
intelligent and make good decisions.


What type of Tea are you? {-With Anime Pictures!-}
brought to you by Quizilla


Those are the only good ones I can find for now. All the others had to do with vampires, fairies, and anime. Just my style....

I need to be quarantined

Well. Much randomness has happened since the last post. I'll only give you the good stuff though. Well, I hope it's good.

Unfortunately while I was at work I was bombarded by the DM, Tim. He's an asshole, to everyone, and it's a well known fact throughout all of us associates. I was wearing my eyebrow ring and I was doing a relatively good job at keeping it hidden, however he was reaming at me about something and he noticed it and told me I had to take it out and he actually called my boss when he left, then she called me and told me to take it out.

I got written up for it too. Not because there was money missing from the change box, or because I beat up a customer. Nope, I was written up because of a ring.

So, I have had to wear bandaids covering my ring for a week or two, and I eventually got a retainer for it.

Friday I went to see The Killers in concert with Casey. The opening band was awesome, they are from Pittsburgh and I think they are called New Invisible Joy. I bought their CD. The guy has an amazing voice and it's very soothing.

The Killers were so great. The lead singer was so cute! He is about my height, and he has an awesome voice also. HE plays the synthesizer too, and it was covered in fake plastic jewels. Very trendy. They were wearing suits and ties, they looked very good. They played Somebody Told Me which was great. I was standing right next to the speakers and I was jumping up and down, screaming the song at the top of my lungs. The energy of the place was just pounding in my body as I sang along. Truly incredible.

The night before the concert I had spooned with a freind of mine, just because. So the next night (Saturday) I asked him to spoon with me again. He did, and we eventually made it to my bed. In the wee hours of the morning, I told him I liked him if it hadn't been obvious enough. I eventually convinced him to "go out" with me, and he kissed my neck as he agreed to it.

Things were ok, there was much spooning that followed.

Sadly, Monday night rolled around and he broke up with me (if you can even call it breaking up since it had only been two days). That was when I decided I was depressed enough to get drunk.

So I did.

I was sent out of the room I had received the alcohol from, and I went down to see my "connection" to tell him he was awesome.

Then when I went to my room, my roommate decided she didn't want to "deal" with me so she pushed me out of the room and locked the door. I went to the neighbors since she had locked me out. I then procedded to throw up intheir trash can. I don't really remember what happened, I just know I was apologizing a lot.

I was sick all the following day, and I called off work for the following day just in case I wasn't better. Des forced me to go to school, but I stayed for about 2 hour sin one class, then waited for the trolley to come around so I wouldn't have to walk home. I found out I was failing comp. lit, so I just stopped going.

On Thursday I was invited to a party, which I went to. I thought I was only going to stay for an hour or so, since I had work the following morning.

That certainly did not happen. I was there until 4 in the morning, and I actually did go to work (I had a cappachino to keep me up).

There are some things I never thought I would do, and last night a majority happened. After playing spin the bottle for a while, I resulted in the kissing of two girls. I never thought it would happen to me, ut now I am an official lesbian. It was just so- different and exciting.

Ok not really, however I did kiss some girls, as well as frenched this guy I had known for 6 hours. And I was actually the one inciting this. Sadly, I haven't seen him since, and I will probably never see him again. He had been hitting on me the whole night, and I figured that would be the only action I'd get in.....forever. So I just went with it.

It was a fun noight, but the weekend was just terrible. I don't feel like writing about it now because I have homework I had to avoid. But in time, I wll get around tp it. Once I have somefree time on my hands.

Meeting Gods

What did I do exactly one week from today? I skipped class, got drunk off my ass, made out with my neighbor, and was felt up by a girl whom I didn't even know.

Ok, not quite. But I did skip class and went to see MIG in concert! Woo hoo! It was AWESOME.

On our way to the place, Casey and I had managed to get ourselves lost, and we were stuck in some pretty heavy traffic. We heard a radio commercial, where you can call in and be on the radio. So, Casey tried, she was boring, so then I tried and I actually got on! I sent a shout out to my neighbors, and sadly they didn't hear it.

I eventually found my way to Mr. Smalls Theater, and we still had time to spare for the show to start.

MIG was the opening act, and we got up in the front, and I was singing along with everything. I even got a few glances from the lead singer and the bassist. To say the least, I was on cloud 9.

When the show was over, I stayed in the front, because I wanted to ask the bassist if they were going to be signing autographs. When lo-and-behold, he crouched down, stuck his arm out and said, "Hi, I'm Jake. Thanks for singing along with us, that was really awesome." I just drooled.

He said they were going to be hanging out around after the show, and to look for him. So, a while later I found him and I walked over to him and he gave me a side hug, and we talked a little bit, about where I first saw them in concert, how much of a fan I am, where I'm from, stuff like that. Then he left to go to the back room, and said he'd be back later.

By the end of all the shows, the bassist was out and about, hanging with Jake, and I asked him for his autograph, he signed it, and Jake volunteered to grab the other guys so I could get their autographs too. While Jake was searching, the guitarist and I talked about where I saw him and such. He said, "Oh yeah, Jake told me about you."

The only way I can describe myself at that point in time is ecstatically joyous with a high. Yes, he had remembered my name, he listened to what I said, and he relayed it to his band mate. A good thing? Definately.

So Jake returned with the other two, they got me a free poster and signed it, Jake had also given me a sticker which he signed and a patch (which I will put on my pants). I got a picture taken with them, and Jake and the lead singer and I chilled out for a while afterwards just talking about little things, like their touring, where I saw them, how I'm a big fan, how their record is doing, stuff like that. I forget what I had said, but the lead singer told me that, "You're cool in my book." I couldn't stop smiling at that. Or really the whole time. Sadly, they had to leave to pack up the truck, and they both gave me nice hugs, and we parted.




That night had to be one of the most fun things I have ever done, and possibly even the best.


This past Sunday, when Casey and I went out to a Halloween store to get some make-up, she became excited and wanted her lip pierced. She asked if I would get something pierced along with her, and I said sure. So, I got my eyebrow pierced. It didn't hurt nearly as much as it did when I got my ears pierced. It's still a little sore, but I play with it a lot. I can't wait to be able to change the ring. I have to wait 2 months to do that though.

All in all, this week has been interesting. I had a fun time, spent a majority of my paycheck, and I'm starving. But that's ok, I needed to lose weight anyway.

Drunken Escapades

-Michelle? Will you make out with me?
-*Laughs*Mich, calm yourself. He's drunk, you do not want to take advantage of a drunken person. But he is asking to make out with me. So how does that work out?
-Why not?
-You're drunk *Todd.
-So?
-You're drunk, and you don't know what you want.
-The only time I do know what I want is when I'm drunk.
-Jesus, I would absolutely love to make out with someone. I mean, it has been about 7 months now, I'm getting antsy! But he's drunk, that's just wrong!
-So Michelle, why don't you want to make out with me?
-I don't want to take advantage of you.
-Oh, well you won't be taking advantage of me. I'd like it.
-I don't want you regret anything. I mean, I'm me.
-Yeah, you're Michelle.
-Exactly.
-Yeah, Michelle you're awesome, and you're funny.
-Thanks....
-So Michelle, will you make out with me now?
-Ok, you can't say yes, because that's wrong. But you don't have to say no. Just keep making up excuses. God this is wrong!
You're drunk Todd.
-I know! And it's AWESOME.
-I'm sure it is.
-So will you make out with me now?
-*Sigh* I don't want to be one of those friends with advatages though.
-Yeah, but friends with advantages are good.
-Oh dear Lord. He's kissing me. Good God, but I don't care, I'm enjoying it. Ok, You didn't make the moves, he did. He's always thinking about sex, so right now I'm sure that's what he wants, since he wants it all the time. So, making out won't hurt. He probably won't remember anything tomorrow anyway.
*****10 minutes later*****
-Well this isn't too bad. He definately has his moves down. He has to be the biggest man-whore I know. But damn he's good. Oh this is great, now we're going to the bed. Well, hate to say it, but he's not getting any tonight. Oh geez- there's so much shit in here!You're going to trip.Oy.
-Damn there's too much stuff on my bed.*cleans it off*
-I wonder what time it is. This has been going on for a while now. He won't stop! Damn he's good though. He is good. I never thought my rebound would be like this! Okie dokie, where the hell is he going now. Hmph. That feels nice. Wow- he really has gotten a lot of practice. Or just watched too many porns. Lifting my shirt up with his teeth. That's a good one.
-You've never gone this far before have you?
-....No.Ah dammit, I hope he doesn't give me any hickeys. Those are difficult to cover up! He's definately loving it that's for sure. Must've been a while since he's made out with anyone. Oo! That's my ass! I guess it's a good thing that the ghetto booty has returned. Holy crap, yeah, he's definately expecting some sex tonight. Jesus! Now what the hell is he doing?! Goodness gracious...those are my legs! He's......he's opening my legs with his! Christ, this is just weird! Second guy I've ever made out with and he's doing this! Oop. Going down there again. I hope he won't remember what my stomach looks like. Not exactly the most attractive thing... Ahhh! Sneaky! *Lifts hand up and puts it to the side.
-You don't want me to go down there?
-No.
-Why not?
-Uh, just no.
-Are you sure?
-Yes. Woo! That was a close one! It's a good hting I'm not drunk also because then there would be trouble. AND the fact that I have my period is
not a good thing. He can do whatever, just no sex-age whatsoever. I definately don't want to lose my virginity to someone who's drunk, and probably won't remember it. Ooooook. Now there's grinding. Ouch, ok, a little too much. Eh, he was a football player, he's just strong. However, he's sruprisingly gentle. Hmm. Well, I guess friends with benefits can be a good thing at times. Or just a friend who likes to drink a lot and wants to make out. Whichever. Oh, ok. Guess we're done. Eh, I'll just stay here. Oh God, I think he's throwing up. Too much movement I suppose. *sigh* Well, at least it wasn't on me. He better brush his teeth after this.
-Woo! I feel great now!
-That's good.
-Ah, move over you're in my spot.
-Oops, sorry.
- God, I think it's about 4 in the morning. Hah- such stanima, even when he is drunk. Guess that's one positive of being a football player. Alright, I need sleep. I wonder if Des is back? Oh well, it doesn't matter. I'm staying here for the night. Damn it's good to be back!

*Name has been changed.

Whoareyou?

Hidy Ho! Long time no speakage. Well, these past few weeks have been disgustingly repetitive. I go to class, I do homework, I go to work, then I'm tired.

I've been working in the morning because one of the guys whom my boss hired is "untrustworthy," so I get stuck with the morning shift. I work only 3-4 days a week, which is good because of school and homework. However, I need the money because all of the supplies for my projects are EXPENSIVE. A pallet of grease paints cost $29 alone! Eesh!

I have to have three make-ups by mid-term, which is Monday. My teeth that I have made (they're bucked tooth vampire teeth) count as one of them, then I have to give someone a bruise or make them look like a druggie, and I'm going to try to make my skin look like it's falling off. I'll put up pictures when I'm done with them.

I had a Dawn of the Dead party on Friday. It was, "Make your own Sundae." It was very fun. I had a shit load of ice cream and toppings. I was having a compettion with my neighbors, they were having a "Spaghetti and Western" night. Although they had more people, I think I won because the people who came over had a lot of fun and my neighbors got all their guests from knocking on random doors offering food.

Right now I'm in computer literacy class and not paying attention because I'm near explosion. My roommate sitting next to me keeps asking me quiestions on how to do things, and I can't figure out why one of the processes isn't working.

Well, I suppose that's about it. I'll write about the creepy old guy who hit on me again next time, whenever that may be.

Ugh, I think I'm going to take a nap now on my keyboard.

Hey baby what's up?

When I carry projects to or from school there are three types of people I meet; drunks, the homeless, or psychopaths. Why do they feel the need to communicate with me, about their lives or their genius theories? Do I not look afraid of them? Do I not look like I'm in a rush? Do they think I would gladly stop to talk to such wondorous, funny, intelligent people such as themselves? Whatever draws them to ask questions about my creations anyway?

As I was walking home one day with my finished skull, a 6 foot tall black man stopped and stared at me. As I got nearer he said, "That's me." WTF?!?!?!?! I stupidly stopped and said, "Wha..?"

He then continued on saying the right side was his bad side (the skull) and the left was his good side (the muscle). I just nodded in confusion. He said that his bad side came from his sister's side of the family.

He was either drunk or crazy was my conclusion.

Then one day when I was walking home with my Animorph, a 50 some odd year old man with missing teeth approached me with a wonderful, "Hey baby what's up?". I couldn't really understand what he was jabbering about, but here are the words of wisdom I took away with me. "You shouldn't paint that thing because it looks good just the way it is. You know, if you do paint it, just close your eyes sometime, and your mind will tell you what color to paint it. So go ahead and close your eyes, and what will you see? Black. That's the color your mind is telling you to paint it."

Words to live by.

Movies and drama.

Damn it's been a long time! Here's the dilly-o yo.

Des and I finally kicked out our other roommate, Linsey, because she couldn't handle responsibility. There was much drama, and I am glad to say I wasn't the one doing it, it was in fact, Linsey. I tried my best to be mature about things, however Linsey decided she is God and that the immature road would be the best.

She finally moved out last week, which was extremely nice, and of course, there was some last drama that ocurred, as well as with her sister, Mel (I guess drama runs in the family).

To celebrate Linsey's moving out, Des had some Smirnoff left over which we drank. No, I didn't get drunk, and it was actually my first alcoholic beverage. It was Twisted Raspberry, which actually tasted like the flavored water I get (just with a little zing). I also bought caramel apples, which Des had been craving, which was quite ironic since she was getting her mouth fixed. This past weekend I drove Des to Buffalo so that she could see her Uncle, who is a dentist, to get some cavities fixed before she flew off to her home town to get her wisdom teeth removed. She's still over there, and is still suffering the effects of it.

I forgot to mention that I am actually on break right now, between semesters. Where the hell did the past three months go? Who knows, but I decided to stay here in Pitty so that I could work to pay off some debts and bills, and luckily I've been getting a lot of hours.

On the last day of school, there was a huge ass rainstorm that came along, and stayed pretty much all day long. That was the first time Des and I watched the news, just to see what was going on in the city. Turns out there was major flooding, some roads were actually closed because of it, and there's many people who are homeless because of it (not where I live though). Just yesterday on a little park near the water, I saw a few boats sitting on the grass.

On the news we heard about this body that washed up on some island around here, and that he was already starting to rot, and that he had been in the water for at least a few days. They said that when the flood waters started coming, he was broken free of whatever was holding him, and he floated down the river.

I would never hear of anything like this happening in Granby. I found it amusing though.

Not many people have stayed here over vacation, but a good majority of my friends have remained here. My neighbor, Ace, is staying (he is from Arkansas and he didn't feel like going all the way down there) and we've been hanging out pretty much every day, since when I move three feet, and I'm at his room. I told him before break that we were going to become best friends, and to tell the truth, we certainly are becoming good friends.

Sean has also remained behind, and damn what a character. He showed up at my room at nearly two in the morning, with a bag of nuts and three books. Now, he had been missing for the past 2 days, neither I nor Ace knowing where the hell he went.

Sean told us that he met some guy who is a manager for a bunch of bands, and Sean started writing music with him, met a girl rock band, and some other chick who invited him to her house while she got high with her friends.

Yeah, interetsing. I have no clue how he meets these people, but it's very funny to listen to his stories.

I still have no clue why he had nuts.

I'm feeling a little down and out today, because of certain reasons (nothing to do with school or my job), and I'm hoping it will pass fast, because I really don't enjoy feeling this way.

My birthday is coming up in about 2 weeks, so send me presents! :P I'm just kidding. I have no clue where the past year went, because it seemed I just turned 18. I told Ace to remember that day and that he had to throw me a surprise party with lots of food. He actually wrote a sticky note to himself the date of my birthday and to throw a surprise party! It was very humorous, and it will be very interesting to see if he actually follows through.

I went to the gas station the other day, and I picked up a Cinnamin Bun cappachino.....it tastes exactly like a cinnamin roll. I'm addicted.

That's about it I think. Dawn of the Dead is coming out Oct. 5, and I'm going to rent it Oct. 1 and have a zombie party with tacos. I can't wait!

Oh goody, there goes the fire alarm.

\/\/@rp3D

With a request from a fellow peer, I am going to update this thing, which I have neglected for a while. Here goes!

I went to the Warped Tour a few weeks ago. I'm going to confuse everyone and work backwords.

As we were leaving the area, we realized we were missing a person. As I turned around to return to ma peeps, a 50 year old short pudgy woman stood in front of me and said, "You can't go in there." To which I replied, "I just want to go 10 feet over there. " The lady sternly said, "There is no re-entry."
"But I just want to go right there. Right over there. 10 feet," I replied.
"There is NO re-entry. We are trying to get everyone out of here as fast as possible."
"But I'm just waiting for one person, why can't I go 10 feet back? *stretches arms out in longing to be returned to the pack*"
"No you cannot. If you don't leave the area, I will call the police."
"But...I...just....GUYS! Guys! they won't let me back in! I have crossed the line and there's no turning back!"
A few others crossed the line with me, so I wouldn't be alone. I felt as if I was a Mexican trying to jump the border. But I didn't have any marijuana. Anyway, we mocked the lady, because we are such good people, and we meandered over to my car, to wait for that guy. He eventually showed up.

I also wanted to get my hair cut and this guy was doing it for only $15. So, I made an appointment, and when I showed up for it, the guy wasn't there. I waited around for about an hour, because my friends were watching Taking Back Sunday, and the crowd was ridiculously large so I was not about to go find them.

I eventually found them, after the concert on that stage was over.

I wanted to go see Moments in Grace, however they were switched to the Philadelphia show, which made me very pissed off. However, I did see Coheed in Cambria and they were pretty cool.


Spot the fro! Coheed in Cambria. 

I also saw a Communist band from Sweden (I think that is where they were from) who preached to us telling us to vote Bush out, and in the end did a Communist salute.

Interesting.

The concert I saw was Underoath. God it was amazing. They were totally crazy. The lead singer kept crowd surfing, the keyboard player was going absolutely nuts and was flailing around, and the drummer was beating the crap out of his drums. The only calm one was the bass player (I think that's what he was playing).


The bassist. Damn he's hot. 

I got to get my picture taken with the drummer and the lead singer, and I also got their signatures.


The lead singer. Quiet and almost subdued. Seems like a cool guy. 


The drummer. Crazy on stage but was actually a very calm, polite guy. 

When the first song started playing, and the first note the singer sang, a mosh pit broke out and I was pushed forward. One person near me smelled bad, people were sweating, I wasn't even standing, I was just leaning on the person in front of me. I was getting pretty beaten up. I was right in the front too, I could touch the fence, and I got within about 5 inches of the singer's face. I also had a guy who was crowd surfing go over me.


Yup. Spit and all. 

All in all, even with the bruises I received, the show was amazing. There was so much energy, I was just in complete awe. It was probably one of the most fun things I have ever done. I would love to go see them again sometime.

Des and I started decorating the apartment (FINALLY!) and we got couch covers, some paper lanterns, a string of cube lights, a chair and side table, and some picture frames. It's really starting to come together, I absolutely love it. We bought left over fabric at Jo-Ann's Fabrics, and we bought some pillows at Good Will. We overed the pillows with the fabric and put them on our couch. I'm making some huge ass floor pillows for myself, one of them being a white furry fabric. Oh yes, it is awesome. We also used a furry black fabric as a rug, and I'm going to sew the left over white fuzzy stuff to make the rug pretty.


His name is Pepper McKnightly.(I made him!) 

I'm also dead broke.

Bubble wrap can't protect you from the cruel, heartless world.

Well now. Howdy folks. I've been out of transmission for about 28 hours now. Damn it's been a long time. I don't think I can handle it!

What did I do? I was forced to mail my laptop back to MA to get the mouse fixed. I miss it dearly, and I hope my packing (bubble wrap and a lot of crumpled up flyers and brochures) was good enough so that my laptop doesn't break. Right now I am using Jake's roommates' (Ryan) laptop right now. Yeah, you can consider him another one of my boyfriends I suppose. Although he's not stalking me.

I went shopping today and bought some things for the apartment. The decor is finally starting to come together. I have been spending way too much money since I got here, I really need to learn how to budget my income. My boss at work is going to train me to be an MOD (manager on duty) which is cool because that means I'd be the one in charge when she's gone. WOO HOO!

Anyway, I haven't been sleeping all too well, and I've been staying up later than I should (I went to bed around 3 last night). I hate it when I have my bouts of insomnia. Not fun times. Very boring and irritating.

I was able to drive around in Dave's car (well, he drove me) because I didn't want to walk home with my huge freaking project, and he brought his car to school, so I asked him if I could go with him. We like pretty much all the same music, which is very cool because I need someone who likes the same things I do.

School is going, slowly but surely. I miss my laptop. I found this place with random computers in it for tourists and they are able to go in there and find out different things to do in Pitty. It was weird, but fun.

Ryan and I went to Burlington Coat Factory, and it really is more than great coats. I found this awesome jacket, which I put on layaway since I don't have the money to buy it right now. I can't wait to go and get it though. I'll post a pic up of it when I get it.

They had really HORRIBLE women's suits...they were so incredibly gaudy. I think I'll return, and try a few of them on, and post those up, because they are just horrendous. I looked like a salmon in one of them. I tried on a J Lo outfit too. That was a good laugh.

That's about it for now. It's late and I'm tired and I can't think straight right now.

I'm out.

This one definately tops the list

Out of all the crazy, weird, absurd days I have ever had in my life, even the day I met Odell, this one beats out them all.

It began this morning while I was doing my homework. I heard this car incessantly honking in the parking lot, and I went on the balcony to see what was going on. I saw the car, and I saw this guy headed toward the car, so I figured they'd stop. They didn't however, and I heard honking once again. So, sitting on my living room couch and sounding like Tim Roth in Reservoir Dogs, I screamed, "Stop fucking beeping the fucking horn on your fucking car!"  Voice cracking and all.

To my surprise they heard me, and she started screaming that I should shut up and to go outside and say it to her face. Because of all the noise she was making, someone a few floors up decided to teach her a lesson also, by throwing water balloons on her.

She didn't like that.

Linsey and I sent down Sean (who was visiting me) down to the front desk to make a complaint, where he embellished a little. He said that there was a guy in the parking lot with a bat yelling, "You wanna come fuck with me? Come fuck with me!" The lady at the front desk immediately called the police.

Sadly, they had left before the police arrived, however I have not seen their cars since.

Later that night I went up to Jake's apartment, simply to have him help with some of my homework. As usual, he wasn't there, but his roommate and people were there, and they invited me in. I stayed a while, and Jake eventually showed up around 10-10:30. He left before I even was able to ask him for help. About 30 minutes later this other girl arrives (I have talked to her before) and she decided she wanted to have some fun with Jake's roommate, and began tyring to turn him on.

What was next? I was invited into a threesome. I couldn't tell if they were serious or not, even Jake's roomie was a little confused. Thank God Jake eventually showed up at 11:30, and saved me from the madness.

The girl who shall remain nameless, asked if I was a virgin, and I said yes, and she said, Ooh! Will you have sex with *Bob? He said, if you say no, I'll say no. So I said no.

Very interesting I'd say. But I'm going to bed because it's late and I have class tomorrow morning. But I guess I know I'm wanted. Hahahaha. In a weird sort of way.

*Name has been changed for safety*

Flirting with the crazies

Well there was much drama in the house, and it is now solved, and what is amazing is that, I had nothing to do with it! I did not start it, I did not take ay part of it in fact. I was completely innocent! Woo! So that was good news.

And some more good news is that Odell's roomie, John, is now stalking my roomie Linsey. I told John that I never want to see Odell again, and he said he could tell Odell that. Today I saw Odell outside the apartment and he noticed me, and was watching me, but he didn't approach me, which made me very happy. John informed me that I was not his only victim, and that most girls feel the same way as I do about him.

Today was another fire alarm. One happened the first week we were here, because someone freaked and pulled the alarm. This was aorund 10:30 at night, and everyone had to get out and wait for all the rooms to be searched....that's 10 floors with 20 some odd apartments each floor. Yeah, it took a while. Today the firemen actually came. Appearantly one of the construction workers working on rennovating the apartments cut the fire alarm wire when he was cutting wood. Smooth huh. We were back in within 15 minutes, so it wasn't as bad as the first.

My stalkers have calmed down a bit, which is a very good thing. However I am now stalking Nate, a pretty hot guy. I have absolutely no chance with that guy, but damn he's good to look at. He's in three of my classes, and today was very funny (yes he's in that one). I was joking around with Jake and Julie (too many J's!) about how I should just stand by the table, in a model fashion, and wait for Nate to come in. I eventually sat down because he wasn't coming. But when he did sow up, I said, "Wow it's getting really hot in here," so I took off the long sleeved shirt I had which revealed a much tighter shirt. Then I said, "This chair is really hurting my ass, I need to stand up." And I did. In my pose. I even was able to throw in a hair flick too.

Damn it was hilarious.

I'm bored as hell right now, which is a first being here. Generally I'm busy or tired, and I took a 3 hour nap earlier today so I'm somewhat awake. I started taking the full pill of Zoloft, and I haven't been too moody, which is very nice. I've been a lot more outgoing, and I'm not afraid to make an ass out of myself. I've also become a lot more conifdent and have been dressing somewhat sexy. (refer above)

So that's about it. School is harder than I expected, and the classes are so frickin' long! Well I think I may be going to bed. Oh yeah, Linsey and I rearranged our room so that now the beds are bunked and I have the bottom (thank God). The room is so much more...roomy!

I have a boyfriend, 3 of them in fact

There is something about me, I'm not sure what, maybe the way I look or the way I smell, but I am able to attract the crazies with ease. No work at all on my part.
 
The first one is Justin. I met him in Freshman Studies class when we were doing a human scavenger hunt. He came over to me, shook my hand, and asked me to sign his paper. I did, and he signed mine, then left. Later in the class we were supposed to buddy up with someone we didn't know, and Justin, once again, came over, shook my hand, and sat down. That's when his stalking began.
 
I bolted out of the classroom, trying to avoid any contact with him. Knowing my luck however, I found him outside waiting for me after I had hidden away in the bathroom. We walked back to the apartments together, and what do I find? That he's my neighbor. Oh how fun.
 
He has stopped by numerous times asking to hang out with me...randomly. I don't like to because he's weird and creeps me out, however the nice one that I am, I haven't let him know that I don't want him around.
 
The next one is Odell. And boy, is this one interesting.
 
I was alone in the apartment, cleaning up (I had just returned from stress shopping), and there was a knock on my door. I figured it was Justin, however, it wasn't. It was this guy looking for this other guy named "Darius." Wrong building buddy. However, he invited himself in, and after about 1 minute of small talk and some wandering eyes (on his part) he told me I was hot. What did I do? Laugh at him.
 
He wouldn't leave me alone, and we sat on the couch watching tv, and he actually had the nerve to put his arm around me! I told him I had to clean up and he said he'd help. I told him he didn't have to, and he didn't.  Unfortunately, he still wouldn't leave, and he actually asked me, this was 5 minutes after meeting him, if, "you want to go with me." FUCK NO. I didn't say it that harshly, I just said, "This is moving a little too fast." He eventually left when he realized I really was busy, however he said he'd return later that day. And sadly, he did. Again, there was sitting n the couch with his arm around me, even though I told him I didn't want a relationship.
 
Last night he stopped by around 1 A.M., with his roommate and 2 other friends, looking for girls. Right. He sat next to me on a chair, put his arm around me, and asked if I would put my legs on his lap. "Oh dear Lord, why the hell do I get these types of people in my life?" Luckily my roomie Linsey was here, along with a few others, so I did't feel so incredibly awkward.
 
Odell actually wanted to carry me to my bed, because I told him I was going to bed soon. I said no, that's ok, and I'll just wait for him and his friends to leave. Odell told me that he was going to make me fall in love with him. Oh yes, he is headed in the right direction, if by love he means an urge to punch him in the face and cut off his balls.
 
He also told me he was a little drunk, and that when he first met me, he was drunk then also! Why the hell can't he get drunk enough to forget about things?!
 
Linsey said she'd protect me from him, thank God, and this leads me to my third "boyfriend," Jake. Jake saw Odell in the hallway as him and his posse were leaving, and he came inside, and he said he would also protect me from any crazy people.
 
I met Jake Monday in drawing class. We have the same exact schedule, so we've been chilling somewhat, getting to know eachother. His cousin is actually in the apartment across from mine, and I was returning from doing laundry once, and I said hi and showed him my apartment.
 
So, Jake slept over tonight, because Linsey's friend from home is staying for a while, and two of the guys were also staying.
 
Where did Jake sleep however? In my bed. Boy that was interetsing. He kept breathing heavy so I kept poking him. I probably didn't fall asleep until 4 A.M., I'm not really sure.
 
Nothing happened between us (thank God) and I actually do like Jake, he's funny and I enjoy his company. However, I'm not too sure how I would feel getting into a relationship, and I'm not sure I like him that much.
 
And it was weird that he slept in my bed.
 
I need to learn to be more of a bitch sometimes. I must stand my ground, and fight off these lunatics with all my might!
 
I also need to build up a posse. I'll hire someone, maybe a 40 yr. old bald biker dude. That should do the trick.
 
Well, I have nothing else to do, but I'm going to be leaving you now, the day is beginning and I can't wait to have Justin and Odell come by. I should throw a freaking party! Yeah! That'd be great! *Vomits*

Pittsburgh life

I have been here for 3 days now, and boy it's been non-stop. We moved in, and everything is relatively set up. My roommate wants us to make our beds bunk, and I'd get the top. I said no. Hopefully I can get it out of her mind that we don't have to do that.

Right now I am sitting in Micah's room on HIS computer because mine is not compatible with the internet provider. SO I have to buy some things, which hopefully won't be too expensive.

We start classes Monday, and boy do we have a lot of shit to carry. My supply kit cost $760......way too expensive.

The first day we were there we were in Linsey's parents car, and there was a homeless man harassing this other guy. After the other guy left in frustration, the homeless guy started yelling and calling the other dude crazy. Then he left, walking away with a limp and j-walking.

Today when I went to the school, Colin and I saw the same guy sitting on the street, with no shirt, screaming something about drugs messing him up and that monkey-ass people should go to monkey homes.

Interesting to say the least.

City life is going to be hard, since it requires a lot of walking. I'm starting my job the 20th, and hopefully I can get enough hours to pay for my car and other things I want.

That's about it y'all, I think Micah wants his computer back. I'm not sure when I'll be getting the net on my computer, hopefully very soon.

I'm off.

So long, farewell, aufederstein, goodbye

This is my last day in Mass. I have about 6 more hours to go until I leave. I'm very anxious to meet my roomies and others. And to start decorating!

Different place, different state, new people (hopefully different!) This is a new start for me, and I'm going to try my best to start with a new slate. No words of my past, especially the people in it. I think I know how to act, and hopefully I'll be able to pull it off. I don't want any enemies. It's ok if people don't like me, however I don't want to give them any reason to. It's ok if I don't like some of the people, not everybody likes everyone. Of course there will be skirmishes, however the happy pills will make me be bale to handle stressful situations like that and see more clearly.

Goodbye to highschool- so long drama, pettiness, egos, and lies.
Goodbye Mass-I won't miss the humidity, but I'll miss the beautiful leaves in the fall.
Goodbye to me- I'm leaving the old me behind, and returning to the way I was in the summer, only even better.
Last of all, Goodbye to the few friends who have stuck with me, especially Lisa. Lisa- you're a freaking awesome girl, you have so much to give to this world. It's pathetic and sad that people can't see your greatness. I'm gonna miss you dahling, but I'll be sure to keep in touch. ;)

The next post I make I'll be in my apartment, and hopefully, will be happy with where I am for once.

Adios :)

It's raining it's pouring

God it's been a long week. Friday I went bowling with a few people. The bowling alley was pretty much bare, and it's the first time I have ever seen it that way. I beat them both times, and got a 101 the second time. :) I was proud of myself.

I was planning on having a tag sale Saturday and that I did. As well as Sunday, and a lame attempt today. I got a lot of people to come on Saturday, however I was called in to work 1-5, so I had to close it down by 12, which sucked ass since I was doing so well. Sunday not nearly as many people came. I hooked up my laptop to the net (I got a laptop Friday) and I've been downloading thngs since then.

It was raining today, so no one came to the sale. I started to pack everything up, however it started raining again and my mom and I frantically put the tarp back on and went inside. Later, I was able to clean it up, but everything was wet. To say the least, today was not fun.

I went shopping for college supplies with my dad, finally
I got some much needed things. I also started packing, and God do I have a lot of clothes.

I also have great news! I called the Movie Gallery down there, and I can go and work for them! That made me very happy so now I don't have to worry about looking for a job. And I'm bringing my car down there, because MG is 30 min. away from Pitty. Hopefully I'll get tons of hours and will be able to pay for everything I need to. I had to call the school for my schedule, but they sadly couldn't give it to me, because no one was there who could. So, I have to call tomorrow.

It's starting to thunder outside. A nice big storm is coming. Last week there was a huge storm that was right on top of us. The house was actually shaking, and I quickly signed offline so I wouldn't be electrocuted. It was 2 in the morning, and I watched the storm for about a half hour, since I just love T-storms. They're so beautiful and so intimidating. It was just flash after flash. It was very loud too. I was able to fall asleep to it, which I love
doing. My room is on the conrer of the house, and the water drips from the roof to the gutter. The sound of that can be so soothing. I went to sleep relatively fast too. I only got about 6 or 7 hours of sleep, but I felt so refreshed afterward.

I also went to Beau Visages, which is a day spa in CT. I got a massage, which was simply amazing. It was the first real massage I've ever gotten, and it felt so good. I also got a facial and a manicure. I had planned on getting a pedicure also, but for some reason they couldn't give it to me. I wanted to go back and get one, but I had to cancel the appt. because I'm just too busy.

Tomorrow should be interetsing. I love it when everything has to fall at the same time. At 10:30 I have an appt. with the shrink for about an hour and a half. After that I have to head over to Belchertown so I can have my transfer papers filled out. Then I have to return to Amherst by 1:15 in order to meet with the psychiatrist, so he can see how I'm doing and maybe give me a full prescription.

I'm getting anxious about college. I'm meeting up with Colin that night so we can finlly meet person to person. We're going to have a movie night and I'm going to make popcorn. ;P It should be fun. The poor guy's roomie won't be showing up till the day after.

Ah the thunder is getting stronger and closer. I hope it comes over our house, and stays for a while, enough for me to fall asleep.

The Women's U.S. Open is FINALLY over. Parking was here in Granby, on the Seminary fields. The cops didn't do a very good job about traffic however. When I left for work Thursday, the line was backed up past my house....which is about 1 mile from the parking area. I had to take the back roads to get around the line, in order to get to work. It wasn't too bad so I at least avoided the traffic.

My finger's are about to fall off, so I'll catch ya on the flip side.

The luck if the Mich

Went to the doctor today. He actually kept me there for an extra half an hour because he wanted to talk to me some more. I completely neglected to take my Zoloft pill this morning, so I took it around 1:30. Luckily it didn't screw me up or anything.

I can't tell you how much my Doc has helped me. He's helped me see things in a new light, and has helped me learn how to evaluate myself. He's been so much help, and I hope I can find one who's as good as he is in Pittsburgh.

As I was driving to Town Hall from my doc's, I hit a piece of what I thought was plastic. I generally avoid anything that is lying in the street, because I don't know what it is or if it could hurt my car. However, this one piece of whatever it was, I ran over, therefore causing me to burst into fire. I mean a tire.

I got home, and didn't quite realize that it had burst, until I was ready to go to work. Luckily my brother was home so he changed it for me. It started to rain, but it wasn't too bad, and it only lasted a couple of minutes. I got to work only 15 minutes late, which was very good. (My brother is quick like bunny.)

Today was my last day there though. I worked alone for 6 hours, doing nothing in particular. Then Pat came in for the last hour. He's so funny! He was in a bad mood too...but he was still hilarious. I'm going to miss his company. And Chris' too. He was just as funny, but more subtle about it. And I'm going to miss the free rentals. I'm not quite out of the system yet, so I can technically still rent movies :D

I watched Requiem for a Dream this morning (recommended by Chris of course, he has a great taste in movies). Wow, it was a fantastic movie. I did not expect it to be that good. It's mainly about drugs and how it controls these people's lives. So very amazing. Jared Leto plays the lead character. Marlon Waynes (I think that's the right one) plays his best friend who often regresses back to a childhood state. Jennifer Connelly plays Leto's girlfriend, who lives off drugs and will do anything to get them. His mother, whose name I do not remember, gets in "diet mode" and pops pills to lose it.

It is such an amazing movie. It has great directing and is very artistic. I'm not sure who the director is though, I'll have to find out.

Alright, I'm done.

Well isn't that special?

I woke up sick this morning. I don't know if it was from the pills or emotional distress. Maybe both.

I've been painting this morning. Incubus is a great CD to listen to when in an artistic mood, let me tell you. Very relaxing. It gets you in the mood.

I'm working at 2 today. Afterwards I'm trekking over to Lisa's to watch Cirque Du Solei.

Not too much has happended today otherwise, at least nothing interetsing. Well actually, my brother got a phone call and he was outside so I went to get him, and I see him riding the new lawn mower on the paths in the back. I have no clue what he was doing....but he was going everywhere.

My dog was puking randomly. Poor thing.

I sat outside for a while and played Metroid while I waited for the paint to dry. I'm sure in those few minutes I was sitting outside I got burned.

I'm not really sure what do to with myself right now, so I'm on my way out.

Two weeks without my lover
I am in this boat all alone.
Floating down a river called 'Emotion'
Will I make it back to the shore?
Or drift into the unknown?

I'm building an antenna
transmissions will be sent when I'm through.
Maybe we'll meet again further down the river,
and share what we both discovered...
then revel in the view.
-Incubus

Sleepless nights and wandering minds

The Zoloft has been working pretty well so far. No side effects yet, except for that jittery thing the first time I took it. But I don't want to jinx it! I'm still on the smallest possible dose there is of it, and I won't be bumped up to a larger dose until Tuesday next week.

Do anything interesting today? No, not particularly. I went to Eastern Arts, yet again, to see if they had a different colored dress. This time I am in posession of a dark blue one, with silver flowers. It's pretty, however, it's not me. I want one that says, "I'm a sexy vixen and you can masturbate to my image all you want but I'm never going to give it up. BWAH HA HA HA HA!"

OK, maybe not so much. But I want one that's black. And they do have them, but they're all one size too large. She said, and I could actually understand her this time (it was a different person) she said to go in Tuesday or Wednesday to see if they have different colors. And so I will do that either Tuesday or Wednesday.

I have been sleeping not too well lately. I have been going to bed between the times 1 and 3 in the morn'. Don't know why. But that has caused me to wake up at 11, which is irritating because I actually like to get things done. Last night was differnt than the rest. How you ask me? Well, I was up until about 3 a.m., not tired at all, then when I finally went to bed, I just turned off the lights and listened to the rain.

I awoke at 9. Wide awake. Not tired at all. Weird, I have not slept that well in a verylong time. But damn, it felt good! (thank you to a certain someone for helping me out that night also ;) )

Today I returned stuff, so that I will have enough money to blow on, well myself, but in this particularly decadent day spa. I have exactly enough money to go to that thing. Which means I have to borrow money from the parents in order to bowl. Tee hee. But I'm having a tag sale Saturday so hopefully I'll make good dough off of that and I can shop for college!

I'm going to miss my car..I don't want to give up my baby! I'm hoping I can adjust easily enough.

Great news however. Em wants me to visit her over break (which will be in September) and I definately am going to go. I haven't seen her for, I think over a year now. Sadly, she will be with child. Maybe it will be good for me though. I need to get used to crying babies at some point, right? *scoff*

I've been talking to my college roomate, Linsey, and she's awesome! I'm so glad she grabbed ahold of me now, because this will make things a lot easier and relatively stress free. She has a few friends who are going there, and we're going to meet up Monday (1st day of classes!) and have a dinner together (one of the guys is there for the cooking class). I'm really, really, really excited now. We are both wondering who the third roommate is. Apparently they haven't chosen her yet. I can't wait to find out who that is though!

Woo, so I'm finally starting to get pumped for college, I'm confident (well, somewhat confident) that I can make friends, and hopefully keep them. I must remember this one key thing:

NO DRAMA!!!!!

Four hours of seeing sheets....and no action!

That's right folks, it took me 4 hours to find extra-long twin sheets for college. Extra-long you say? Yup, apparantly the college likes to be prepared for those giants that decide higher education is calling them. That whole 5 inches will do the trick....

I wanted to go to Barnes and Noble today, just to read all day long, but I had money to get and shopping to do, and I woke up at 11, so my day was pretty much shot. I did get a whole bed set and some other sheets, which is good. I don't have enough money to pay for my massage now though, so I'm going to be returning a few things.

I saw Dodgeball last night con Lisa, Dave, and EJ. It was a HILARIOUS movie. Ben Stiller rocks my world. Pepper was the funniest character I must say. He is played by the guy who is also on Arrested Development (which hopefully has been picked up for a second season...I'm not sure if it has or not though!) His character is a co-announcer of the ADAA tournament, along with Cotton.

Cotton: And this is the team "Lumberjacks." Now they probably haven't
seen a woman in months.
Pepper: They must masturbate a lot.

Patches was also a very funny character. He's the one in the commercials who says, "If you can dodge a ball, you can dodge a wrench." My favorite quote of his was, "...it's like watching a bunch of retards trying to get a rise out of rubbing against a doorknob."

Oh the hilarity.

I'm not sure what I want to do tomorrow quite yet.....it's either painting or Barnes and Noble. I really want to read John Stewart's book...but I want to finish up painting my flowers also.

Or maybe finnish that porno I've been making with my Swedish female friend I met at Six Flags.

Decisions.

Damn this shit works fast!

Three minutes after taking the Zoloft pill, which is only about the size of 3 grains of salt-yes that's how small it is- I started to feel the "jittery effect." The doctor explained it as having too much coffee in the morning, but I feel shaky (diabetes shaky.) Which really sucks because I hate that feeling. Oh is that nausea? Well not quite yet but I'm sure it will be coming soon. Or should I say coming up soon...

Sorry, bad play on words. It's early, I'm too tired and shaky to have wit.

I did much yesterday. I worked for 6 hours (I got an extra hour because Joann wanted to leave early :P She apparantly does this with Chris also, "I hate it, I'm like her bitch."-Chris)

Afterwards I went to Tricia's graduation party. Twas fun. I ate, and Dan, Lauren (I'm assuming that's the correct spelling), and Amanda were there. They're actually pretty cool people. I would never be caught dead hanging with cheerleaders.....but they are actually very funny! I like them. I definately hung out with the wrong crowd. I wish I could get to know them more, but oh well. Maybe by some freak accident I'll talk to them online in Pittsburgh. Hahahaha. There's not much of a chance in that.

I went to recital around 7:30, because I really didn't feel like waiting around for 4 hours until my dance came up (they wanted us there by 5:15!). So, I finally arrived, and about 45 minutes later I was onstage (good timing or what?!) I didn't screw up! That made me very happy. The only part I somewhat screwed up on was when I jumped up....and backwards. Luckily I gained my footing so it was cool, I didn't fall over or anything.

After that I was in a skirmish to go to the Easthampton fireworks, and in my frenzy I called multiple people, none of them answering their phones. I eventually got ahold of Pat, and he was skeptical they were still going on, but I dragged him away anyhow. It was strange, when I pulled up to his house there was a police officer there and he shined his light in my direction. I said "Hi," then scurried away into the house. The thing was, however, that I was still wearing my dance costume pants.

I'm a fashionista!

We knew the fireworks were over when the steady stream of cars were exiting Easthampton. I turned into the street at the bottom of the mountain, where sadly I had to stop because a car was stuck in a ditch (don't know how that happened...) and they were getting help being pulled out. Then lo-and-behold, from behind the jeep he appeared, the epitomy of white trash! White jeans, black Harley T-shirt, mullet, and to finish off the look, a Budweiser in his hand. And was he helping? Nope, just watching them hook up the car to pull it out. As we were watching (we had front row seats!) yet another mullet bearing man came from behind the jeep. Now, this man wasn't as stereotypical as our other friend, but that's ok, because he was an old mullet, one with gray mullet locks. He has served his time as a young mullet, and is now one of the Mullet Elders. He clearly passed down his knowledge to his son (the beer weilding fiend), so his legacy can continue.

I wish my father didn't have my camera at that moment. I'll have to drive by that house on 4th of July.

Eventually the car was saved, and I was able to turn around and go back home.

I am still in the process of watching A Mighty Wind (which I started watching last night with Pat, however he fell asleep so I brought him home.) I think it's the same person who did Best in Show, because a majority of the actors are the same and it is just as hilarious. If you like Best in Show, definately go see this one. It's a classic.

I should leave now, since I have much to do today, people to call, sex to sell.

Adios, amigos!

What is it with you animals?!

Now it seems that every time I drive there is some animal out there waiting for me so that it can jump out in front of my car. Today I almost hit a chipmunk, rabbit, and a cat. Earlier in the week it was a squirrel, turtle (two of them, on separate occasions), and a huge toad.

What is going on here? Are animals sensing the apocalypse so they're trying to kill themselves before the horrible horrible destruction which will happen? Or are they all at a loss of Prozac. Who knows what the hell is going on there. Needless to say I've been driving a lot slower.

I watched Ghost World today. It's about two girls who just graduated from high school, neither of them going to college. It was very interetsing, and it was saddening because I could completely relate to the main character, although she was a bit more extreme than me. I guess I understood her. It was a very good movie I think...Doug was a great character- white trash, with mullet and t-shirt tan (actually it was more of a wife beater tan, which is more appropiately white trash if you ask me).

Four and a half hours of waiting at dress rehersal...until we
finally took stage. But it's ok, I had nice company. My ass hurt from the chair though. Tomorrow we're supposed to be there for 5:30, and the recital starts at 6:30. I am NOT going to be there at 5:30, I will be at Tricia's party until maybe...7:30 (if it lasts until then). My dance isn't until after the second intermission, so I'll have plenty of time. They hope to be over at 9, so we'll see how that goes :P.

All I want to do is go to Barnes and Noble again to finish reading John Stewart's book. It's just so Goddamn funny. And I really need funny right now. I'm beginning to feel depressed again, and I'm not going to start the Happy Pills until Sunday, and those won't start working until about 6-8 weeks after I start taking them. OY this is going to be difficult. I have to pray, and I have to reassure myself everything will be ok. I need to know I can still talk to people, but sadly I probably won't. I'm hoping I'll be able to be sociable enough to get someone to hang with. And I hope I'll like my roomates.

I'm really wanting to double major and take a directing class also.....but I don't think AIP does directing, sadly. I have to check up on that. And I'd have to see how much it costs (as it is already $30,000 for two years). I'm very interested in that whole process, and I would love to learn about and use different filming techniques (like Quentin Taratino whom I now worship and have vowed to myself I will work with before I die).

I have scheduled myself an appointment at a day spa. I will be getting a manicure, facial, and 1/2 hour massage. The pedicure, for some reason, I cannot get the day I'm going, so it will have to be at a later date, which probably will never happen. But I'm excited, since I've never been to a spa before, and hopefully it will give me some needed relaxation.

I just hope the person massaging me isn't a she-male.

Beer and Zoloft

A nice combination if you ask me. The beer helps along with the anti-depressant mood.

Alright, alright. You got me. I'm not on Zoloft, just the beer. It has a calming affect on me...

Maybe I'm a compulsive lier. Who knows. So here's the actual truth. Went to the psychiatrist today (only the guy I saw was a nurse practitioner or something of that sorts) and he gave me Zoloft (the scientific name being "Happy Pills"). I'm not going to start it until Sunday, because a side effect is nausea, and God knows how easily nauseated I am, and I have recital Saturday so I don't want to be puking on the audience.

Or maybe I would. Hmm...this changes my plans...

Continuing on. After that I returned some items to the mall, since I have no use for them. Then I went to Barnes and Noble to chill out, be a nerd, and read. Sadly I didn't get the same seat I did before, but some guy left a comfy chair so I stole it. This time I was looking out at the street, facing the Kaoud's Oriental Rugs place. I read some more of Merton's book (the name is "Thoughts in Solitude"). I got sidetracked though by the Bushisms book. I also picked up John Stewart's book, "Naked Pictures of Famous People," and my God it is hilarious. No, there's not actually pictures of naked celebrities (except for Abe Lincoln on the cover.) He wrote random...stories I guess you'd call them... about different celebrities. I read 4 of them. One was about a Jewish person living with the Kennedy's in the 30's. The Kennedy's make politically incorrect (to say nicely) statements about Jews, Mrs. K has babies one after the other, and the deformed kids she has are taken away to be "helped." And the kids keep dying. You have to read it to understand.

The next story was about Hanson family Christmas and how the mother resents her children. The third was about Ex-Prez Ford and what he was like while president, and the fourth was about Martha Stewart's vagina.

Doesn't make sense? Well I suggest you pick one up and read it! It really is just about the funniest book I have ever read. I'm not even close to finishing it, but that's ok, I hope it never ends! This book especially appeals to me because he thinks exactly the way I do. I always envision different situations...with whomever (celebrities, relatives, anyone) and I picture them in little skits in my head. John Stewart has taken this same type of thinking and written it down, and I think it's brilliant (I'm not the only one thinking that way!) However his "skits" are much better than mine, but I would love to get to his level of creativity. I think I'm going to start writing those little ideas of mine down, when the mood strikes of course. I have to be in "creative mode."

OK here's some random subjects I want to talk about.

At Cindy's (a little ice cream place where all the sluts from Granby work) the sign outside says, "Cindy's Girls Here!" Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?! Who cares if 'Cindy's Girls' are there or not? This clearly shows that they are using their sluttiness to sell ice cream.

Then I thought, wouldn't it be funny if only girls named Cindy worked there? Maybe that's what it means!

Then I knew I was wrong when I saw the flashing neon sign of a girl with a bathing suit on, holding a beer.

I went to the movies with my friend Sarah to see "The Stepford Wives." I was wearing my fancy little corset (I had just bought it that day so I just HAD to wear it) and she was, as usual, showing off her humongus boobs. As we were driving back to my house (she was dropping me off) we got pulled over by a cop. He asked where we were going, where we were coming from, and if we had been drinking. We told him we went to the movies, and more than likely he didn't believe us, since we were dressed like sluts. At least we got out of the ticket ;)

When we bought our tickets in the theater, I think the guy in the ticket booth was looking at my boobs. Too bad it was the strapless, padded, push up bra I bought at Victoria's Secret.

My brother has become such a rebel! He has gotten so out of hand that he is now writing graffiti......on the tissue box! *gasp*


Oh the horror! And it's in White Out!

Movies, Books, and......Metroid!

Whew! It's been a while dear Blog. We have so much to catch up on! So let's see, I'll just start with this.

This morning when I was driving down my street I nearly hit a squirrel. Now, this was no ordinary squirrel, no no no, it was a magical squirrel, with a little hat and a magic stick and a squeaky voice that said, "If you rub my belly I will grant you unnlimited Jell-O pudding cups."

*Ahem* Sorry 'bout that, I got a little off topic. Anyway, the squirrel was more... "special" than the rest of the squirrels I have encountered. As I was driving, it saw me coming (It looked at me. No really, it did.), ran out into the street, then paused, almost like a deer stuck in headlights, only much smaller and in the day time. I slammed on my brakes so as not to hit the poor fellow, then it got scared from the screeching (my car needs some new brakes), turned around, then ran back to his friend. I noticed that this squirrel was missing all its fur on its tail, except for a little tuft at the tip and at the base of the tail. Clearly this squirrel has been hit by a car before me. Or, it was just in a really bad fireworks accident.

I have a few theories as to why this squirrel decided to stop in front of my 3,000 pound, speeding car.

1. The squirrel seems to have suffered some brain damage from its last run over and it does not realize that the car can kill it, since it has lost its memeory from the accident it was in.
2. The squirrel was ashamed and discommunicated from the rest of the squirrels, so it decided to put an end to his miserable life by scampering in front of my car.
3. The squirrel wanted a nub.

Who knows the real reason for this poor souls attempt...we can only pray that he gets what he wants.

I have been alternating work and watching movies all weekend, because she's finally giving me hours, and soon the rentals won't be free. Many, many, many, movies I have watched, and I can't even keep track of them. Let's see if I can give you a list. American Beauty, Raising Helen, Scary Movie 3, Thirteen, Deliverance, The Craft, Stepford Wives, Secret Window, The Breakfast Club, Peter Pan, There's Something About Mary, 50 First Dates, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Clockwork Orange, Cold Creek Manor, and a few others I can't remember. I have Mystery Men and Reservoir Dogs waiting for me on the coffee table right now. If you'd like a review of any of them, I'll gladly give it to you.

Work has been interetsing lately, I think because school is out so more people are renting, and those parents are usually the deranged ones. This one kid kept asking me about movies and if we have them, and finally I said, "Did you check the wall?" (the new releases are on walls) The kid replied, "What wall?" Only the three walls with about one hundred movies on them which are surrounding you. Yeah, those walls dumbass! No, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it.
"They go in alphabetical order, so it should be right over here. How old are you kid, 8?"
"No I'm 9."
"Well then I would think you'd know the alphabet by now, am I right?"
"Yes. It goes A,B,C,D-"
"Alright kid enough. So can you read? I'm pretty sure you can read too."
"Yeah. I like the cool Pokemon shows!"
"That's not a book kid."
"...and there's Pikachuu and Bulbasaur and my favorite is..."
"I SAID ENOUGH!"
*whimper*
"So, can you read those signs right there?"
"Yes. They say, 'Nuu..nuu releee...'"
"Sound it out kid."
"Nuu...NU Reeeses!"
"No not Reese's, releases."
"Oh ok. Nu releeses."
"Yeah, close enough. Anyway, that's where you're movie will be found, in alphabetical order. You're movie starts with 'K,' and we are by the 'M's'"
"M & M's?!"
"No kid, the letter 'M.'"
"Oh, ok. Well, can I have some M & M's anyway?"
"Go ask your mom."
"She doesn't like me to call her mom, she likes me to call her Kathy."
"Too much info kid. Just go over there, find your movie, and here, have these M & M's for free, it's on me."

*Sigh* At least that's how it feels.

Joann, my boss, just loves sending me home early, even though the assistant manager was fired, and that frees up about 20 hours of work for all us other minions. Yet, she continues to send me home early.
"Thank you for choosing Movie Gallery Belchertown where-"
"Hey it's me."
"Oh hey Joann."
"How's it goin'?"
"Well, it's not really busy right now. There's a few mingling, oh nevermind they just left. Well it's the usual, they come in waves."
"Well I'm going to have to send you home early."
"Oh, at what time?"
"Well why don't you just leave right now."
"But I just got here!"
"Yeah but you said it wasn't busy, so there's no use having you there."
"I'm the only one working right now though."
"Oh you are? Well that doesn't matter since no one is there, so why don't you just leave."
"But...I... who's going to watch the store?"
"Oh it doesn't matter. No ones there, you can just leave it for Sean when he gets in."
"Well, uh, ok. Bye."
"Thanks Michelle. I'll see you later."

That's a conversation I'm just waiting to have happen. However, she never tells me to my face to leave early, she always tells the person I'm working with to tell me to leave early. I don't know why, maybe she's bad at confrontation, who knows. It's just really aggravating.

Friday (I think it was Friday...I don't really remember) I went to Barnes and Noble to read. I picked up, "The Pessimist's Guide to Life," "Bushisms 3," and some Thomas Merton book. The pessimist one was absolutely hilarious...probably because I could relate to a lot of it. It was written by my future huusband Jimmy Fallon and his sister Gloria Fallon. Great stuff. I also read the intro to Bushisms, and part of the book. Shows the real epitomy of an idiot. However, the writer introduced an interetsing theory. Bush is capable of being smart, he did well on the SAT's (I think it was the SAT's), among other things. He only pretends to be an idiot so he can get away with being an asshole (i.e. war, anti-Gay's). I thought that was pretty interesting. I also read some book of Thomas Merton's, and it was his views on society and the way he lives his life. I didn't read the whole book, but I definately want to. Some of the things he said really struck me. He talked about human's using up the world's resources, which surprised me, but I'm all for conservation. In that book he used pretty simple language and was straight to the point. The first sentence tells you how he feels, and what he thinks. Almost like a damn research paper thesis. I'll have to remember the name of the book, because i recommend it to everyone.

I really enojoyed chillin' there. I got the perfect seat, a nice big chair facing the parking lot. It's so interetsing to watch people. They don't even notice you. It sounds creepy, I know, but if you try it yourself, you'll probably get a kick out of it. You see some...differnt... people. One woman and, I'm assuming it was her husband, came waltzing out of the store with their 3 children. The thing that struck me though was that the woman, who I'd say was in her early 30's, was wearing light pink short shorts that said, "Hot Stuff." No, I am not kidding you. Her shorts actually said that. Can you picture her going into Deb or Rave and trying on those shorts and thinking, "Wow, these are so fashionable. I see all the hot 14 year olds wearing them. I have just GOT to get them!"

God people worry me. I'm dreading what her little girl will grow up to be like.

I saw Conor there too. I didn't say hi to him though, I didn't know where he was going in the store, and I didn't want to seem stalker-like.

On the brighter side I bought a new purse! After shopping for one for 5 hours, I came across one that is about the same size as my old one, a little bigger though. The only downfall is is that it has orange lining. And I hate orange. But- I'll find a way to cover it up. I'm sure it will get dirty fast, so hopefully the color will fade. I also bought Metroid, because I am foolish and impatient. I've been playing Fusion, which EJ has gracefully let me borrow. Sadly, I have become addicted to it, and I want more! I bought Zero Mission, which is a re-make of the original. I bought it used, even though it was only $2 cheaper than the new one. However the person working there gave me credit as if I have a membership card. That saved me an additional $3. That was very cool of him. It's strange, people have been really nice to me lately and have been saving me money. It started when I went to Pretzel Time in the mall a while ago. The guy saved me 16 cents, which isn't a lot, but still was nice of him. Then at Pizza Hut my waitress let me get the salad bar and have the breadsticks for free. Then it happened again at the game store with the $5. I'm not sure why this is happening all of a sudden, maybe because I've been shopping a whole lot more so I've been noticing it. But- as corny as it sounds, I think it's because I portray a confident, friendly image to others, and they feel that.

Who knows really, there is no answer. Just like the mystery of the suicidal squirrel.

Impulse buying gets you nowhere but poorer.

All the graduation money I have received has been listfully used to buy many things, but nothing of too much importance. A majority of my purchases have been on impulse, which is not a good thing. Where has this buying led me? Let me show you.

*A skirt which I have worn once
*A corset to go with the skirt I've only worn once
*A Japanese dress
*Hair chopsticks to go with the Japanese dress
*4 CD's
*A CD case
*A GameBoy Advance
*A game for the GameBoy
*A fancy car air freshener (returned-since I won't have a car for very
much longer.)
*Chapstick as an exchange for the air freshener
*Numerous shirts for the summer
*Pearl Street tickets
*A digital camera
*An $80 memory card for the digital camera
*And in the case of my poor friend whose impulse buying may be as bad as mine, a guitar in which he has no clue how to play.

My past adventure to The Pit (as the mall is my money vacuum) was to return the car air freshener, exchange the Japanese dress, and buy a purse. The former were sucessful, except for the fact I used the $10 I got back from the air freshener on chapstick. On my way to buy a purse which I found in a department store, I see a corset which captivates me. I think, "Well, I'm out of school, I'll be in college soon, I've always wanted a corset, ah why not." $40 later I was the proud owner of a black corset which didn't fit quite right (thank God I kept the strapless padded bra from the prom!). The corset itself wasn't $40, it was only $20, but they were having a sale so I just had to buy two other shirts which were only $10 each.

Of course I left The Pit with only $9 left, and not near enough for a new purse, which I am in dire need of, as is shown.

The zipper on the front was barely used, but it also lost it's pull when the man at the concert pulled it and threw it away.

My zipper, after losing it's pull and only half-zipping my purse, finally gave out at the concert.

Ah duct tape, the only thing holding my purse together, as it is covering up two holes (one on each corner) on the bottom.

Warning to everyone- BUYING THINGS ON IMPULSE WILL NOT LEAD TO HAPPINESS, ONLY A FASHIONABLE HOBO.

Now let me go, I need to apply some new duct tape to my purse.

Things are moving, but I'm going nowhere.

The day after prom I was at Lisa's helping her move. About a week after that we were finally done (or so to speak, we had finished enough to make it look presentable) and then began my scrummaging through old plastic trinkets I have collected for the tag sale (Hoping to come soon. Stupidly, you need a permit to have a tag sale. I do not know why. I do not know how to get one. But appearantly, it is illegal to sell my old shit unless I am permitted to by the Massachusetts government.) Last week was mainly emotional strain and speeding. And this week, after everything has relatively died down, it is moving so slowly, yet I have little time to get things together before I move to Pittsburgh.

It happened last week after my mom decided I needed to pay for rent to live in this house because I don't do dishes. Immediately after the phone call, I called my college, left a mesege asking them if I can go in July instead of waiting until October. Then began my frantic search for someone to talk to, and I think everyone knows who that is.

After years of anger and frustration between my mom and I, it finally all came rolling out. Not so much rolling really, more like crashing into cement from a 20 story building. I decided to get out, and I did, for a brief while at least.

Skipping ahead to this past Monday, Tina (from AIP) returned my call and said I could, and I could move in July 8. That certainly brought me joy. And a lot of anxiety. I know I need to move out of here, I honestly can't live here and remain as sane as possible any more. I'm nervous about how it will be, since I am so unprepared for this, considering I was going to wait until October.

But I know it's something I have to do, and I would have had to do it eventually anyway. If I want to be happy, I have to make myself happy.

I've grown so much this past year alone. At Granby everything was at a standstill. Nothing changed. Nobody else changed. Go to school. Get verbally abused. Go to next class. Quietness. Go to lunch. Listen to latest gossip. Next class. Verbal abuse. Next class. Goofing off. Bell rings. Leaves unnoticed. Goes home.

Next day would be the same exact thing. No kidding. However, at HCHS, although the people remained generally the same, attitudes changed, and so did mine. Althoguh no one can tell, I've grown up a whole lot. How come I can't interact with people well? Because no one would interact with me at Granby unless they needed a self esteem booster so they'd choose to make fun of my newly dyed black hair. After HCHS, no one helped me any how, except for those few who know they've helped, and I've learned to help myself.

It goes unnoticed that I am now able to talk to strangers, ask for directions, or order a meal the way
I want it.

I've figured out that the reason I'm so emotional is because of these wonderful little thigns called anxiety attacks. I'm getting help for that now, and for my depression, which I'm pretty sure I have. Scoff all you want, say there's no reason and I'm just making excuses. Frankly, I don't care what people think of me any more. Well, that was a lie, I do care what people think about me, but I only care about what the people I love think of me, and no one else. If you're a stranger, that's ok because you don't know me. If someone doesn't want to get to know me, that's ok too because I probably don't want to know you either. Everything's equal, you see?

I am beautiful. I am sexy. I am talented. I am smart. I am original. I am funny. I am a nerd. I am me, and you can't tell me who I am, only I can tell myself.