Down with Whitey!

Being white really sucks.

If I were black, people would like me for my ghetto booty. If I were Puerto Rican, people would like me because I was tan, AND had a ghetto booty. If I were Asian....well, that's just self explanatory.

I'm basically see through, I have no ass, no boobs, lumpy legs, and, ugh I'd rather not go into details.

So what do white girls have going for them? Why do you think so many people go to tanning salons and dye their hair and get plastic surgery? It's so that they can make themselves darker, thinner, curvier, sexier, whatever is opposite of white.

You never hear guys diggin' the white girls. And if they do, they're traits that another race has. The only guys who really enjoy a white girls' company, are white supremicists.

It's so sad, it really is. God, now I want to go fry in the sun a bit.

Too bad it's night.

Having a grudge sucks

Oy what an adventure!

OK not really. But this week has just kept on going! It's mad! Much drama in the household, however I think the worst part of it has past (I hope I'm not jinxing it).

I went AWOL on Justin on Thursday, I got drunk Friday night with Caleb, which was fun, we watched a few movies then stayed up till 6 in the morning complaining. Woo! Then Saturday I went to random people's places and hung out and about had a heart attack from severe boredom. Saturday I don't even know what I did, I think I spent most of it in Justin's room DDR'ing and watching the play off's. Sunday I hung around the apartment for a bit, did some quick makeup works on Thom, watched some movies (The Grudge twice- sounds AWESOME in my room), then went to bed (this time in my own room!)

Getting drunk with Katie and Renee never happened, which was sad, but I hung out with them a bit which was still fun. AND Renee is in my English class which made me very happy and HOPEFULLY it won't be incredibly ridiculously boring! It was stunning when I met a boy in that class who has actually seen Cannibal the Musical! I want to borrow it from him sometime so I can show some people, because last time they didn't want to watch it. The bastards.

Today I'm not going to do much, maybe attempt some homework, organize the wires in the bedroom (we finally got an extension cord thingy) and see if I can get that cable splitter and fix that up.

I put up "advertisements" if you will on every floor in the building, however the assholes took them down and said I could put them on some glass case. I got a little pissed off about that because it took me at least an hour to print everything out, put the numbers on them, then cut them up. Fuckers. But I did just get a call from my RA actually asking if I could go and wash his dishes once a week for $5. Hey, I think I'd be making a killing if more people were to call up and ask for help. That would be fucking awesome.

Chili's still hasn't made a call yet, and more than likely they're still going over applications, so I need something to do to make money because classes have started and I WILL be needing supplies. And maybe since I'll be going to people's rooms I will be able to work on my social skills (because mine suck). So I see it as a double opportunity.

I braided Evan's hair the other night, and he looked like Coolio. I have a picture, however my printer is being an ass so I can't upload the pictures and some fucker stole my cord so if I ever find out who that is I WILL beat their asses. :D




So that's it. Maybe someday I'll be able to put up the pictures.

If you stick this light up her, her mouth will glow.

*gurgle*

This has been a long 3 days. It actually feels like it's been a month since the whore has been back. Ever since Vince came back I've pretty much been living in his room, avoiding any contact with her.

I haven't been sleeping either. Actually, last night I went to bed at 2 in the morning, which was early (as opposed to my usual going to bed at 4 in the morning) so I guess there's an improvement. Up till 4, then I have to get up at 11 for class. The whole class situation has pissed me off so bad. I can't stand this school's policies. They just like sucking you dry of money...the fuckers. That's why whenever there's free food somewhere, I take a good amount of stuff to save for later. If they're going to chrge me this fucking much for a majority of classes I don't need, I am going to try my damndest to get what I deserve.

I'm so confused about boys. They suck. They're mean to me, then they're nice, I like them, they don't like me, or they like me for a second then forget about me. What the fuck? I just can't fucking win!

There's one good thing though (and I'm hoping I don't jinx it) Des and her bf have been having problems, so he's not there as much (so that means less nasty dirty sex). So I won't be as afraid to go to my room. Well, kind of.

At least I have multiple friends whom I can stow away with for a while while she's in the apartment. I'm glad about that.

Still need some spoonage. I desperately want to spoon with Brett (yeah yeah yeah...) but I don't think he really wants to. I do believe I scared him, or something of that sorts. God I'm so pathetic.

Well, at least I don't feel the need to sleep around to get attention.

Chronicalling the insanity

Slipping into the poopiness again.

It's one of those times when you just want to be in solitude, but you want your friends around, you want to do absolutely nothing but something instead of just sitting, where you want to die or have others die....

OK I'll stop there. I just don't know what to do with myself, I'm confused as all fuck, and I just can't stand the general population right now, but I need people around me to cheer me up. I hate feeling this way. I've felt this way for the better part of my life, and if I were just to get Zoloft back....

I have an appointment the 31st, it's just a matter of getting to that point. Will I survive? Or will I just explode?

I can't cry. I want to. I think I need to, but I just...can't. Don't know why, but for the longest time....ever since I moved out to Pittsburgh, I just haven't been able to cry. Whether or not I wanted to.

I don't know what I need. Actually I do know. I just want someone there for me so I can just vent about every fucking thing, and they won't judge, and they won't give me shitty advice, just listen, and agree. I just want someone......

I need to cuddle with someone. I need to spoon. I haven't spooned in the longest time. To feel somone's arms around you, to feel that they're just...there.

Yeah so no chance with Brett. I figured that much, but that really was no surprise. *Sigh*

Today just really sucked gopher balls. And maybe ever monkey balls.

I failed Comp. Lit. because I didn't have the time to finish my powerpoint and somehow I failed the midterm (which I HIGHLY doubt since my roommate passed and she's not that smart, considering I was the one who was telling her how to do shit) so I think something got messed up there. Anyway, I had Intro. to CADD today, but I can't be in that class until I pass comp. lit., and I asked the guy if I could just test out of it since I already know it and I DO NOT want to waste any more of my fucking money on that shit, and he said no, because it was too late. That fucker. So, tomorrow (well technically today) I'm going to my advisor (the guy I saw wasn't even my advisor, my advisor was gone- in fact they all were) and I am going to tell him that I WILL NOT take that class over again unless they let me AT LEAST take the test to get out of it. They just want my fucking money! And no, I do not want to give it to them! They already stole the money for math class from me ( I was barely ever at that class and I passed it with a fucking A- however, we couldn't test out of it because the Dean is a fucking rich asshole who wants poor starving art students' money) and I won't let this shit happen again.

So then everyone decides to be an asshole to me, not sure why, just are (well they usually are anyway) and today was NOT the time to be pissing me off any more. THANK GOD Evan was there to keep my sanity and let me chill in his room for a bit. It was so quiet....it was beautiful. That was definately some nice time spent up there. I think I was up there for 3 hours....it was around 10 when I checked then suddenely it was 1 in the morning. How time flies when you're not listening to the bitching of a loud ass whore.

I need a coma.

Or just some spoons so that I can gouge my ear drums out.

Wcaus eyiouy said it wa slong

So I locked my roommate out of the apartment last night.

I've been bored a lot lately. Two of my peeps came back today and it made me happy. Brett is supposed to be coming back tomorrow, however I believe he hates me. I don't think I ever mentioned Brett before, so yay, now I have.

Um. Yeah. I helped Caleb set up his blog *woo hoo!* I haven't been in my room since 4:30, except to get food and some other stuff.

Oh Lord the ADD is VERY VERY freaky right now.....

And suddenly I got very hot. Don't know why. Hot flashes I suppose.

You know what's the worst thing that can happen to you? Oh, good news, I guess Brett should be coming over soon actually, I guess he is back to the apartments. Anyway, the worst thing that can happen to you is when you really really really have to pee, like when you haven't peed all day because your boss is an asshole and he (or she- I'm not sexist :P) wouldn't let you take a break cause there was some catching up to do and you had 10 cups of coffee because you didn't sleep well the night before and you had a twelve hour day to survive through and the drive you normally take to get home that is only 10 min. turned out to be and hour because there was a horrifying bloody accident and BOTH lanes were closed and everyone was trying to go on the detour and there were lights every 5 feet...and then when you finally get home and go to your bathroom and you go to undo your pants- your zipper gets stuck (or your drawstring- guess it depends on how fat you are).

That really sucks.

It also sucks when you stand up to pee, and you realize your a girl.

How Now Brown Cow

I've done nothing all day.

My back is killing me.

I want to kill me.

And a few others....

And thankfully Des has been gone to work for a while so the place is mine until 9. So, I have an hour left.

Sadly I have nowhere to go after that.

Maybe I'll just stay out on the balcony. She won't go out there.

I'm listening to the Deftones. Awesome band. Wish I could see them in concert sometime.

I got a call from MCI the other day trying to con me back into getting their business.

Today I got the same call from them, from a different person. I told them I already received this call. "Oh, ok. Sorry, and thank you."

And they charged me for my free month.

I've been messing around with www.bolt.com a lot lately. It's fun. My name is dariasdouble212, so if any of you want to chat or something of that sorts, stop by.

I wish I could go shopping, but I have no money.

People owe me a lot of money in fact. But I know I'm never going to get it back.

Things that have been stolen from me IN this apartment:

1. $50
2. My orange scissors
3. My laundry basket (could have been taken by Nikki when she went home for the
holidays- not quite sure.)
4. My camera connector thingy that lets me load pictures on my computer (VERY pissed
about that one.)
5. My sanity

I need a job. They called me to come in for an interview, and I told them I already did go in for an interview, and I'm probably not going to get the job from the looks of it. I guess I just won't work. I don't need food anyway. I'm trying to lose weight as it is.

I think I may have to take Comp. Lit. this semester instead of CADD. Not quite sure yet, I have to call and find out.

I wish I was a millionaire so I could just go to my own island and escape everyone. Or may be just send everyone I dislike to that island so they will leave me alone and I can have the world to myself.

Or at least get back my world.

Ain't that funny

Well everyone knows that history repeats itself, and it just seems that it happens to me moreso.

For the longest time, a friend of mine has gotten a boyfriend or girlfriend, and they decide to spend 24/7 with that person, leaving me, and maybe some other people, behind.

Story #1: Good friend named Amber meets another Amber, and immediately hit it off, because people with the same name have to be close. Me becoming ignored by the BOTH of them.

Story #2: Best friend Emily becomes infatuated with boy named Justin, and although she'd still invite me to do things, he would be there and they would do that annoying lovey dovey "I wanna hump you right now" thing, making it awkward.

Story #3: Best friend gets first boyfriend while in highschool, pretty much ignoring me, and inviting him to every party that I had, even if I didn't want him there. (He was a good guy, and I can't blame him for that- she was just too clingy). Ultimately, I stopped being "friends" with her.

Story #4: Get to college where I met this guy (no love interest however) whom I have every class with, so we kind of stick together. He gets a girlfriend, and just plainly stops hanging out with me....and anyone else for that matter. Rough areas follow, and although we don't hang out like we used to, we talk every now and then when we see eachother, or we're in class. (I got lucky on that one.)

Story #5: Roommate becomes a whore and finally gets a boyfriend, becoming a bitch to me, and ignoring me and other friends. Bitched her out one day and haven't talked since.

Story #6: This one is especially tragic. Two friends start going out, and even though I told both of them if they decide to ignore me, I'll stop being their friends and ignore them. There were many, "Oh no I won't do that"'s coming at me, and *surprise surprise* they stopped talking to me, despite my efforts of IMing them and such.

Last night I was listening to 80s music and was inspired to "become" 80s. Former girlfriend stops by and I just tell her to get 80s. It was a fun night...for a while. Spent all my money renting 80s movies and buying food. Boyfriend of hers left, so did she, I went next door to DDR some, then I IM to let them know I'll be starting the second movie, however they never IM me back, or even let me know what's going on. So I watch the movie alone. (But it was "Better Off Dead" which is hilarious so it was ok because I was laughing.)

Now, I'm not sure why this always happens to me, since it never seems to happen to anyone else, and all their friends who have a boyfriend or girlfriend remain their friends, and everything is shibby.

So this makes me wonder, if it only happens to me, then there must be something wrong with me.

I have concluded that I am:
1. Boring
2. Annoying
3. Crazy
4. A loser
5. Not worth anyone's time
6. A waste of space
7. And just better off dead...